Everything we had is gone..

What happened to this? We were so perfect.. Why did we end up so bad? I loved you so much... You were all I ever wanted... I wasn't enough for you anymore, right? I was "boring", I "changed". I don't wanna grow old without you Brooke... What if we never get back together? What happened with all our plans for the future..? I don't want to cry every night knowing tomorrow I won't get a hug and kiss from you.. I miss you.. You meant literly everything. You said I was your everything.. You were my girl Brooke.. I wanted the best for you.. I met almost everyone dear to you.. I lay here pathetic in my own tears.. We broke up in that spot we once went to spend time alone, that spot where you told me you loved me, the spot were we hugged for hours.. You left me there in ruins.. I cried for hours.. I always there for you.. I've never felt so empty inside. You took my head when you climbed those stairs away from me.. To think you saw me cry.. It was awful.. I love you Brooke.. Hopefully it all works out for you... I'm always here for you.. I really hope you remain happy and live your life the way you want it to.. Be safe please.. I'm going away for a while. It's not your fault.. I've been suicidal my whole life.. Hopefully I'll make I through, but I asked Nicole to keep you safe. Please listen to her.. Goodbye babe. I'll always love you..

Is this it...?

I'm sorry for all the things I've done wrong. I'm sorry for all the times I didn't text back, but most of all I'm sorry I wasn't enough for you... Today I felt horrible after you turned away in disgust.. I shed those pathetic tears for what seems like the hundredth time.. I do pay attention to you.. I do understand what you say... Tomorrow might be the end of something that was once so beautiful.. To think it got like this makes me fall to my knees.. I hope it turns out well, but in the back of my head I think it'll just finish... I don't wanna face reality. I was gonna tell you I'm leaving again this week, but it seems there's no need for that now.. Seamus will know, but hey, it's a chance for you not to see me. You won't have to worry. I won't be here for long.. I might never come back.. And honestly I think it's for the best.. The sad truth is I'll never forget you and the remainder times I'll see you will poke holes in my heart which will eventually turn dark and I'll become everything I once hated... Why can't we just fucking go back to 7th grade! What happened back then? Why did we click so well? We were amazing together! Why did it turn to this?! Just fucking why.. I fucking love you.. So much...