Is this it...?

I'm sorry for all the things I've done wrong. I'm sorry for all the times I didn't text back, but most of all I'm sorry I wasn't enough for you... Today I felt horrible after you turned away in disgust.. I shed those pathetic tears for what seems like the hundredth time.. I do pay attention to you.. I do understand what you say... Tomorrow might be the end of something that was once so beautiful.. To think it got like this makes me fall to my knees.. I hope it turns out well, but in the back of my head I think it'll just finish... I don't wanna face reality. I was gonna tell you I'm leaving again this week, but it seems there's no need for that now.. Seamus will know, but hey, it's a chance for you not to see me. You won't have to worry. I won't be here for long.. I might never come back.. And honestly I think it's for the best.. The sad truth is I'll never forget you and the remainder times I'll see you will poke holes in my heart which will eventually turn dark and I'll become everything I once hated... Why can't we just fucking go back to 7th grade! What happened back then? Why did we click so well? We were amazing together! Why did it turn to this?! Just fucking why.. I fucking love you.. So much...