Old times.

I look at Nicole and Seamus. They're the happiest couple I know now and it gets me thinking. We were that happy once. I write things on here hoping somehow you'll read this and know that I'm suffering so much and I bet you are too. I think I'm putting so much effort into this and you simply shrug it off like a cold. I know you're going through a tough time, but it's been like that for such a long time. I'm to afraid to ask things of you, cause I'm afraid you'll hate me. Every time I see you unhappy I choke up and think of all the horrible possibilities it might have to do with me. I keep thinking you've found someone else, someone who made you as happy as I once did. Back when we barely knew what life was. When I would kick your chair in Math class and we'd smoke weed after school. We were so relentless, but eventually we became such a cheerful an happy couple. To think it's gotten the way it is. I just wish you would try a little harder. When we had our break I thought it was the end of the world. I wanted to pull the trigger or cut an artery. I completely gave up on hope. I never saw a girl during those days like I ever saw you. In fact I was devastated by the thought of even hugging one that wasn't you. Luckily it all turned around and we were back together, but I'm afraid of it turning back. It's not that I don't wanna talk to you it's that I haven slept in days and I knock out for days too. I just hope you can see my side of things and I want to see your side too so I can improve. The truth is that I'm completely head over heels for you and I love you..