New Girl

There was something about you.

I was curious.

I.. I wanted to know you.

You seemed hurt, but you wore a mask of pure silver and gold. 

Across the lunch room you sat.

Maybe one day I'll get the courage maybe a chance to come along to have a nice conversation with you. 

You sat down at our lunch table today.

You seemed scared, but curious about us.

You say quietly, but we knew there was more to you.

I thought "She wears a mask, but under every mask is a beautiful individual ready to come out and learn". 

Two months later we're closer then ever.

It's almost as you prefer me from your friends. 

A cute couple relationship where you know you're falling, but scared I won't catch you.

Once you see what I've done to you're life you'll think back how I helped you up and brung you to success. 

I know you won't be mine, but when I disappear which I tend to do you'll be alone and hopefully you won't fall to old habits.

I'm anything you want me to be.

Almost as a punching bag, but one that won't ever leave or give in to all your pain. 

Truth is...

I'm scared to get close and so are you, but we keep getting closer and closer.

Everything we had is gone..

What happened to this? We were so perfect.. Why did we end up so bad? I loved you so much... You were all I ever wanted... I wasn't enough for you anymore, right? I was "boring", I "changed". I don't wanna grow old without you Brooke... What if we never get back together? What happened with all our plans for the future..? I don't want to cry every night knowing tomorrow I won't get a hug and kiss from you.. I miss you.. You meant literly everything. You said I was your everything.. You were my girl Brooke.. I wanted the best for you.. I met almost everyone dear to you.. I lay here pathetic in my own tears.. We broke up in that spot we once went to spend time alone, that spot where you told me you loved me, the spot were we hugged for hours.. You left me there in ruins.. I cried for hours.. I always there for you.. I've never felt so empty inside. You took my head when you climbed those stairs away from me.. To think you saw me cry.. It was awful.. I love you Brooke.. Hopefully it all works out for you... I'm always here for you.. I really hope you remain happy and live your life the way you want it to.. Be safe please.. I'm going away for a while. It's not your fault.. I've been suicidal my whole life.. Hopefully I'll make I through, but I asked Nicole to keep you safe. Please listen to her.. Goodbye babe. I'll always love you..

Is this it...?

I'm sorry for all the things I've done wrong. I'm sorry for all the times I didn't text back, but most of all I'm sorry I wasn't enough for you... Today I felt horrible after you turned away in disgust.. I shed those pathetic tears for what seems like the hundredth time.. I do pay attention to you.. I do understand what you say... Tomorrow might be the end of something that was once so beautiful.. To think it got like this makes me fall to my knees.. I hope it turns out well, but in the back of my head I think it'll just finish... I don't wanna face reality. I was gonna tell you I'm leaving again this week, but it seems there's no need for that now.. Seamus will know, but hey, it's a chance for you not to see me. You won't have to worry. I won't be here for long.. I might never come back.. And honestly I think it's for the best.. The sad truth is I'll never forget you and the remainder times I'll see you will poke holes in my heart which will eventually turn dark and I'll become everything I once hated... Why can't we just fucking go back to 7th grade! What happened back then? Why did we click so well? We were amazing together! Why did it turn to this?! Just fucking why.. I fucking love you.. So much...